If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
We have started to decorate penises.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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