dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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