At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Too much gin, very little bucket
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using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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