I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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