Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Don't tell me you're on acid again
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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