On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize