Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Betty ford says i'm here all night
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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