Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize