I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
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There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
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she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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