you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
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