My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize