? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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