so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Randomize