you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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