she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize