so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
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Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
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This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
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