Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize