Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize