beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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