Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
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I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
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They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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