Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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