I faked an abortion last night.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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