Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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