Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
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