**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
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