Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
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I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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