AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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