A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize