Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize