Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
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