YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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