if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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