Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
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For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
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Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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