i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize