I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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