went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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