I wish I could teleport
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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