this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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