i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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