Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
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