Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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