The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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