I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I could make wine with my vomit
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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