What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
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We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
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i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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