your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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