i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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