Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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