my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
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i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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