she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
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Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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