Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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