Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize