Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize